Dear you
by DeadSkullB
Summary: Six different One-Shots with different pairings. One-Shot summary: Reflecting on the past C.C understands that her sad endings have given others happy ones and now, that someone has faced a sad end it has finally given her the happy one she thought she'd never have. Warning for adult themes!
1. Kindness

**I have quite some stories on the way but I thought that I should at least start something so this is what I started with. The story itself is just a bunch of different one-shots all based off of different words. There will be six one-shots so far but I don't know when or how fast I will update so you'll have to bare with me till the bitter end.**

**Now I won't stop you from reading. Have a nice time! **

**Disclaimer_ I don't own Code Geass or the song. **

**One-shot summary: A few days have passed since Euphemia's order for Suzaku to love her and he haven't had time to talk to her about it yet. Wandering Suzaku runs into his princess at the roof and decided that they can't keep ignoring the subject. **

**Pairing: SuzakuXEuphemia**

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It was one of those days when nothing really happened and nobody had anything to do or had any energy to do anything in general. A day when there was rain in the air but the sky was cloudless causing everyone to yawn just at just that wrong moment or even though they aren't tired. Of course, Kururugi Suzaku was no exception to this odd law of the universe. But what differed from the other soldiers, privates and guards around the settlement Suzaku had a lot on his mind and were thankful for the time he now had to wander the halls of the Viceroy's Palace.

The first thoughts to bubble to the surface in his mind were of course the main one that had been bothering him ever since he was appointed his new position. _What am I doing here…?_ He would think for hours and never have a clear answer for himself when the day ended. What _was_ he doing here? Was there a deeper reason for why just he had been appointed such an important position or was it a coincidence that it actually happened. He didn't know and he didn't dare ask his superiors, nay, _superior_ this question either.

Suzaku could find himself wandering anywhere when he got lost in thought, the training grounds, his personal quarters – which he would never get used to – and in some rare occasions even the rooftop garden. Because of this he had seen a lot of places in the Viceroy's Palace and yet he still hadn't memorized the layout. Rather stupid, since it would be the least he could do for getting lost inside someone else's home.

The Viceroy's Palace wasn't his home. No matter what his position said, it would never feel quite right to live in such a grand palace when people of the same ethnicity didn't even have the slightest chance for such luxury. It didn't change the fact that he had little to no choice in the matter of choosing where he would like to live. He was to stay close to her highness, the sub-Viceroy the third Princess, for as long as he lived or till she didn't wish to have him by her side any longer. If he had to be honest, he had believed she would give up on having a Honorary Britannian like him by her side after the short span of a few days, only, but that wasn't the case and he was still obliged to protect her, stay by her side and follow her every command from one point to the other without hesitation. Yet here he was still, or rather, again. She hadn't allowed him to quit that easily, he should have known and she would try to convince him to stay, or more accurate return to her side since during that time he had quit being her knight believing himself unworthy. Her world had really convinced him and not only that but also had they woken a bunch of deep feelings inside of him making her words echo through his head even now…

"_I order you to love me and in return I will love you back!" _she had almost shouted at him. _"So, don't hate yourself!"_

His brown eyes stared down at the fine wooden floor underneath his black boots indicating he was near the rooftop. Good, he would need some fresh air to think. He just couldn't get her words out his head. What had she really meant by saying that? Was she serious about it? No one would approve of it even if it was an order from the princess herself. Besides, wasn't it forbidden for an Honorary Britannian like himself, an Eleven, to love a pureblood Britannian, a princess of royalty to booth? He would be beheaded, both heads would be chopped off, the moment Viceroy Cornelia learned of it and he did not wish to anger her highness older sister.

A sigh escaped through his lips as his shoulders slouched. What was he going to do? Did the princess even know how much this was affecting him on the inside? Plus, she had been so busy lately that he had rarely had any time to speak to her in private the last couple of days that all his courage of asking her if she really meant what she said back then had now long since disappeared into thin air, sailing of to someone else whom might as well need it just as much as he did.

He meant no disrespect to her highness on doubting her word, but he just couldn't believe that she was actually meaning what she said in the way he thought she meant. That kind of love, he was unsure if he was capable of giving it back to her. How afraid had he not been to open up to those around him? Not to mention girls. How many had he not told off not because he didn't believe their words on loving him but his own abilities on loving them back just as tenderly?

Princess Euphemia deserved so much better than him. She shouldn't love someone like him, a lowly Eleven. She should love a nobleman, or another royalty from some foreign country, perhaps. To some degree, even a count would fit for her depending on his statues among society. Not him, not Kururugi Suzaku, an Honorary Britannian, Knight of the third princess Euphemia, a born native and raised in Area 11. It just didn't work that way in the world.

Somewhere deep inside, Suzaku felt how disappointment smoldered and boiled underneath his thin surface of right and wrong; he really did feel something for the princess he was destined to protect, did he not? It was futile to lie to himself anymore. How his heart would beat a little faster every time she smiled at him, or was near him in general. The ache in his fingertips to brush them against her smooth porcelain white skin, so loosely and gently fearing she would break under his rough hands. The longing to make her fidget by gently placing her in a corner, to watch a blush creep up her shoulders to her neck that finally would reach her cheeks and to touch her ample pink lips with the tips of his index and middle finger. She would turn her head away from him to hide her blush or maybe the shyness and sudden embarrassment that rose from him being so close, perhaps both(?) all the while her bluish violet eyes would keep traveling back to his own brown ones. They would slowly lean closer to each other till they exchanged air between one another, till nothing but the other mattered and for the moment they would be the only ones in the world, if just for the short moment and then her rich lips, glossed with pink shining lip gloss would…

He shook his head getting the images out of his head, feeling how his face was heating up. That was just absurd fantasies, dreams for when the dark fell and the stars descended upon the night sky. How could he even fantasies about her like that? It was forbidden for him, not because he was a number but because he was of low statues, not an earl, count or noble but a mere private who by some odd reasons became a knight for her majesty. She was the forbidden fruit in Paradise that no one other than the Gods themselves was allowed to taste, yet he longed for her so.

Raising his gloved hand, Suzaku slapped his own cheek in punishment for such thoughts of Princess Euphemia. What kind of knight would have such thoughts of his princess? He was pretty sure that Guilford didn't have such thoughts about Viceroy Cornelia.

Pushing the glass doors leading to the roof open he looked up facing the large greeneries spread over the large rooftop. There was trees and flower bushes, grass and gravel paths, even one made out of square shaped fine stone leading to a beautiful house. Suzaku had never been inside and to be honest he wasn't very curious about the inside either. It belonged to prince Clovis and even if the late prince wasn't, or rather couldn't, punish him for stepping into his property he wasn't going to violate what belonged to the dead.

Following the stone path Suzaku was brought back to his times at the Kururugi shrine, before Britannia had invaded Japan and when things had been so different and peaceful. Before Lelouch and Nunnally had been sent to Japan as hostages. Before, when his mother would sing him and his cousin to sleep, when his father would have a smile on his lips and when his laugh rang through the shrine every morning. Now, the shrine was empty and his father and mother dead. He wasn't even sure where his cousin was currently at, all he knew was that the shrine still belonged to him. He knew that he would have preferred it if Britannia had never set foot on Japanese ground but then he would never have met Euphie, nor would he have met Lelouch or Nunnally who was like family to him. He knew he was torn between what he wanted and what he had.

"…_A kind voice and don't leave me anymore. Wishes, prayers, I've shouted for many times, but my voice can't reach you…" _

Suzaku stopped in the middle of a step. The voice was clear and soft, sung with such emotion that only someone who'd faced hard ships or a broken heart could have sung it. Someone was singing close by and the voice was very familiar to him. He wasn't alone up here and in a normal case he would just leave whoever it was alone to their own business but he knew that voice, he was sure. He just couldn't help himself and sneaked over to a pair of bushes where the song was directed from. He peaked over the top of the bush and his heart almost stopped when he saw the flowing pink hair even though he already had been sure of whom it had been.

"Princess Euphemia…" he whispered watching the young princess.

She was sitting in the middle of a small meadow in her white and pink dress with the frills that looked like flower petals. She had her back towards him and her summer pink hair swaying behind her in the light breeze.

"_Now I simply can't see your shape, but you're protecting me at any time,"_ she continued to sing in her sweet voice and Suzaku couldn't help but sigh relaxingly. He shouldn't have if he hadn't wished to be found, though, because Euphemia turned her head in his direction quickly, an expression of both shock and fear on her face. "Who… who's there?"

At first Suzaku thought the best idea was to just shrink back down behind the bush but that would just be cowardly and he knew Euphie better than one would think, she wouldn't get the wrong idea about him. So he did what any other knight most likely would have done, he straightened his back and walked out into the meadow over to the princess who visibly relaxed.

"Suzaku!" she exclaimed and rested a hand over her heart with a sigh, "You scared me. If you wanted to join me you could have just asked." She patted the soft grass beside her and gestured with her head for him to join her.

"I'm sorry, Princess Euphemia," he said and bowed his head before accepting her invitation to sit beside her. "I didn't mean to intrude; I just didn't think there was anyone up here. If you wish to be alone, then I can just leave and return later."

Euphemia shook her head. "No, I'm glad you came," she said with a gentle smile. "Because of sister, I haven't been able to spend very much time with you the last couple of days, Suzaku." Something sad shone in her eyes but disappeared quickly when she turned back to Suzaku. "But now you are here and we are alone, I'm glad."

Suzaku couldn't help but just stare before collecting himself and nodding. Didn't she know how that would sound like to anyone else? Beside the point, though, he couldn't understand how Euphemia could be so happy when he was around or was she always like this? Did she like him enough to be happy when he was around? Did she really love him, like she promised? The thought reminded him that he had to ask just that, if she had indeed meant what she'd said.

"Uhm, Princess Euphemia," he started but was quickly interrupted.

"Suzaku, I have told you to call me by my name many times, have I not?" she said and leaned her head to the side. "You can call me Euphie, if you wish. Just like when we met."

He nodded and swallowed. "Princes… No, Euphie, I…" he started.

"Yes?"

She was blinking her long eyelashes at him and her violet eyes were looking into his innocently. Her lips were pulled together into an almost pout but not quite and the fabric covering her left shoulder was slowly on the way down to start revealing her arm, but it didn't seem that she noticed. She was resting most of her body weight on both of her hands that she leaned on and the position caused her bosom to squeeze together.

Suzaku swallowed and had to force himself to avert his eyes.

"Yes?" she repeated.

"I… uhm… I…" he said and swallowed once again. His throat was suddenly dry and he was having hard time breathing. "I was just wondering about… uhm…" She leaned closer to him and nodded for him to continue. Any closer and her thin clothed chest would make contact with his. "…The song!" he finally exclaimed a little too loudly, causing his face to heat up, or maybe it just turned redder? He was certain he was already redder than Kallen's hair. "I was just wondering about that song you were singing. It was beautiful, I believe I've heard it somewhere before."

For a moment she looked almost disappointed and returned back to her previous position. "Empress Marianne used to sing it to us when I was younger."

"Empress Marianne…?" Suzaku asked and frowned. _That is Lelouch and Nunnally's mother, isn't it…?_

Euphie nodded. "She said she learnt it from a maid that originated from Area 11 when it was still Japan."

"That's why I know it," Suzaku said and nodded to himself. "I don't know the song itself, but I heard it a few times when I was younger. The melody reminded me of a song my Aunt used taught me and my cousin when we were just kids but I've forgotten the lyrics by now."

"Would you like me to sing it to you?" Euphie asked scooting closer to Suzaku again. "If you'd like, I can sing it in Japanese as well." Smiling she leaned her head to the side, her cheeks a faint shade of red. "I'm not very sure of my accent, though, but I will do my best…" Slightly embarrassed Suzaku nodded.

"It would be nice, yes, but you don't have to, Euphie," Suzaku started and scratched the back of his neck. He opened his mouth to continue but had never the time to even start formulating words as small yet strong arms pulled his head down and laid it on something soft. It didn't take him long to realize that it was princess Euphemia's lap and his cheeks were now redder than ever before. "Eu… Euphie?"

She ignored him and started to stroke his brown hair all the while looking up at the sky with closed eyes. She was breathing slowly and calmly.

"_Your kindness melts into the sun and it's always by my side without the happiness fading,"_ she sang, continuing from where she left of this time in perfect Japanese, though the accent was a little off. _"There are too many things that I don't notice. I finally understand the lost time, I want to joke around with you in bed and fall asleep in your arms…" _A hint of pink tainted her cheeks but she kept singing.

Relaxing Suzaku closed his eyes too and stretched his legs out, resting his hands on his stomach. It was nice, lying on Euphemia's lap hearing her sing for him. She had such a beautiful voice that he could listen to forever and ever. Oh, how he wished that time would freeze at this moment and never move on. Zero, the Black Knights, the Emperor, Britannia and Area 11, all couldn't wait when he was with Euphie. He would never ask for anything else but to forever be by her side even if he would only be able to get this close.

"_I'll be able to meet you again someday; when that happens, please say "I'm home", laugh, and stroke my hair,"_ she sang, raising her voice slightly to a higher pitch only to return back down again. _"I'm dreaming, always, at this little place…" _He felt her breath on his forehead but he didn't open his eyes, no, that wasn't it, he didn't have the energy to. If he did, maybe the moment would be broken and he didn't want that. _"…Waiting for the day when you will embrace me."_

All of a sudden Suzaku was really sleepy and felt how he was slowly descending into the land of dreams when something soft and smooth brushed against his lips. Inwards he frowned trying to register what it could possibly be but he just couldn't think straight at the moment.

His eyes fluttered open slowly and at first he saw only blur but then he started seeing contours and shapes and… a neck? He almost frowned and followed the neck down seeing a collar bone and a pair of… He blushed but couldn't avert his eyes from the pair of breasts hovering not too far above him.

A pair of gentle fingers stroke through his hair again and he was returned back to the issue. Something, or rather, someone was touching his lips and it was no secret whom it was, when thinking about the circumstances.

Euphie's lips slowly left his and she hovered above him, staring down at him, her cheeks a blazing red; he could see her swallow.

"Euphie…" he whispered and tried to form any kind of words but nothing came out.

She sat up and he followed suit, turning his torso to look at her but she kept looking away. She was holding her fingers against her lips and he wondered what was going through her mind at the moment. Had Euphemia really just kissed him?

He reached a hand out towards her but hesitated as her violet eyes turned back towards his. Should he? No, she was forbidden fruit; he had to never touch her. But she had touched him first, did that count? Swallowing his fears of rejection he grabbed her wrist gently and pulled her closer to him.

"I… I'm s… sorry," she whispered and tried to pull back. "I just… I didn't mean to…"

"Euphie," he said as gently as he could but she kept trying to pull back. Maybe she was regretting what she had done? But you just don't kiss your knight when you have the opportunity. He had to take the chance, he just had to. Had she no idea what that did to him? How much it really meant to him that she actually took the initiative and moved them forwards from where they were stuck not even crossing the start-line.

"I'm sorry, if you just let go I'll leave you alone and…" Euphemia started but her voice cracked and she pulled back with more force. "I'll… I'll be leaving and… and… you don't…"

"Euphie!" he almost shouted and pushed her to the ground, standing over her on all four staring down at her shocked expression. She opened her mouth to say something but no words were said. "I'm not angry, if that's what you believe. In fact, I'm more curious, if anything."

She frowned; tiny tears had started to form in the corners of her eyes.

"You kiss me and expect that I will not wonder why?" he asked and couldn't help but raise an eyebrow, couldn't help but sound dominant. "You order me to love you and promise to love me back without allowing me to know if you really mean what you said. I want the truth this time, Euphie, or if that was the truth, I want answers. Please," he begged. Suzaku felt as if someone was clawing their way out from underneath his skin. It was almost unbearable. "Don't you see what you do to me…?"

Euphemia just stared back at him before she gently placed her free hand on his cheek, the same one he'd slapped earlier. "Because, I love you," she whispered, "That's why."

Suzaku had expected to feel some kind of shock or surprise at her words. Almost as if the world suddenly fell into place and everything suddenly made sense to him. It didn't and all he felt was realization. Everything in his world had already fallen into place, ever since she'd confessed her love for him and ordered him to love her back. All he'd been doing was to just not believe her because of what everyone else around them said.

He smiled and hid his eyes behind his bangs. How could he have been so stupid all this time?

"Suzaku…?" she whispered and frowned.

Before she had any chance to add anything to that lone word, Suzaku dove down and pressed his lips against hers. He just couldn't resist her any longer, not when she was so vulnerable underneath him, confessing her love, clearing every dark cloud from the sky and surrendering to him without a second thought. How could he resist her after all she'd done for him? There was only one answer.

He couldn't. Never again would he either. He wouldn't be able to survive if he had to.

Euphemia's lips tasted of raspberry and cherries and they were soft against his own. They seemed so fragile, like paper or flower pedals, just like the rest of her and yet her lips fought him with the same ferocity as his own, almost as if she had prepared for this lip wrestling for a very long time. Maybe she had, too. Euphie had said that she loved him, an Eleven, her knight. Had she wished for him to be with her like this ever since she appointed him his position? If so, why had she not just commanded him to kiss her like she had commanded him to love her?

Euphie's free hand wrapped around his neck and her thin fingers intertwined themselves in his brown locks, pulling and tugging all the while not allowing him to gain victory over their passionate battle. She was almost dominant at how she fiercely kissed him, tugged at his hair and pressed herself as close as possible to his warm body. But Suzaku wasn't going to allow her to win this battle, nor was he going to be dominated. Even if the idea did sound very tempting, he wasn't going to give in.

Suzaku nibbled at her lower lip earning him a low moan from the young princess beneath him. He had figured that she'd be sensitive and wasn't surprised, but he still felt a sort of victory when he tugged and sucked her plum lip earning him even more moans. Burying his teeth gently into the flesh of her swollen flesh he licked the red skin slowly leaving a wet trail; Euphie squirmed underneath him and her locked hand fought to break free. But he wouldn't have it, not yet.

Leaving a peak on her lips, Suzaku started kissing along her jaw line, leaving licks and nibbles in his wake all the way to her where her neck started and down. When he came to the joint where neck met shoulder he buried himself in the crock of her neck and took in a deep breath. She smelled of lavender and cinnamon; her shower gel.

Euphie's breathing was quick and her nails were scrapping against his scalp at his sweet torture. Suzaku knew from her squirming that something was bubbling and burning in her stomach and his beliefs were confirmed when he let a hand gently travel down, over her collarbone, in between her breasts and down her stomach till his palm was resting over her navel.

"Suzaku…" she breathed and moaned when he nipped her neck. "Aah…!" she gasped when his hand traveled back up her stomach to cup one of her breasts; they were soft, like cushions and his hand covered her breast just entirely. _A perfect size_, he thought with a smirk and gave another, tighter and stronger squeeze. She let out a loud gasp and arched her back into his touch.

Yes, very sensitive, indeed.

Raising his head so he hovered over her Suzaku stared down at his princess who stared up at him with foggy eyes. She was so beautiful; so fragile; so tempting and innocent; so untainted that you'd want to taint her. He wanted to taint her, he realized. No, that was wrong!

Suzaku pulled back and sat up quickly leaving the princess lying in the soft grass staring up at black clouds sailing in over the blue sky. Suzaku put his head in his hands and hid himself from the princess; he could feel her warm eyes stare at him and he could almost feel how she sat up reaching her hands for him.

"Suzaku?" she asked and placed a hand on his shoulder. "Are you alright? Did I do anything wrong?" Suzaku glanced at her through his fingers and saw how she averted her eyes and different shades of red and pink covered her cheeks and neck. "I'm sorry, I'm very inexperienced and… and… You are most likely a lot more experienced than I and I… I… I'm sorry…"

He couldn't help but give a smile at her as she was trying to find words and speak of something that she had never spoken of before. He couldn't hold his chuckle which caused her to stop her try to justify her innocence and inexperience.

"Suzaku…?"

Letting his hand fall to down he stared down at the grass blankly. How was he going to tell her this? Shouldn't she already know that this was forbidden between them? He and her, they could never be together, that was just the law. A law that had been passed by her very own father and yet here she was breaking it, the emperors very own daughter was breaking a law that she'd grown up with. Didn't that just happen in stories and fairy tales?

How had they gotten here? Only twenty minutes ago they were just knight and princess and now they were… whoever knew what they were?! What would the Viceroy say if she knew? What would Lelouch do if he knew Suzaku was with his younger sister? The thought just horrified him. Even if Lelouch had thrown away his name and title for a normal life just like anyone else's had that not changed how he felt about his younger sisters. If he had ever spoken of anyone in his family it had either been of Nunnally or Euphemia. He would most likely be as pissed as Viceroy Cornelia. Just the thought of having the two after him caused him to shiver.

"Suzaku…?" Euphemia's soft voice broke through his train of thought.

Brown eyes stared into violet and he was once again lost in her beautiful pools of violet flowers. How could someone have such beautiful eyes as hers? How had he been so lucky to get to be here by her highness side when any royalty or born Britannian could easily get their way to his position all the while wanting his position as the third princess knight while Suzaku hadn't even dreamed of ever skyrocketing so high in rank over knight.

"Are you alright?"

Finally he voiced what worried him. "What would your sister say if she learnt of what happened here?"

For a moment they sat in utter silence, listening to the faint roar of thunder in the background. A storm was sailing in but neither was moving, both wanting answer and not daring to change place until they'd gotten just that, answers.

Euphie thought for a moment before giving a _'humph'_. "She doesn't need to know," she said. Suzaku raised an eyebrow not believing it to be that easy. "And we don't need to tell her about our relationship, right?"

He found himself staring at her again, all over again in surprise and disbelief. "Relationship?"

She leaned her head to the side and frowned. "That is how you say it in Japanese, right?" That's when it struck him and he realized that after she had ended her song in Japanese she hadn't changed language while speaking and both of them had continued to speak in his native language. He hadn't even realized it. She glanced at him and saw his shock. "After you confess your love and kiss you are in a relationship, right? It says so in the books."

Books? Of course Euphie wouldn't know anything about relationships other than what she read in novels. How stupid of him. She must have lived under strict protection from any kind of men all her life except for those who might wish for her hand in marriage. Euphemia wouldn't know much of relationships from her own point of view or personal experience, just others, just books.

"Well, it is a little more complicated than that, but in a simple sum-up than I guess so," Suzaku said and scratched the back of his neck. He let his hand fall and his mood dropped. "But I'm a number; I'm not even allowed to be in your presence under other circumstances."

"But I want you by my side and that's it!" Euphie exclaimed and stood up, trying her best to look like the angry girlfriend. It was quite the sight actually. "My sister can say whatever she wants but as my knight you have to follow every one of my orders, do you not? I ordered you to love me and I would love you in return and I will! I order you to be in a relationship with me if you wish to, in return I will try my best at it as well! And I say…"

"Euphie!" Suzaku said and stood up. "I understand. I do, I care deeply for you and I'm relieved that you feel for me as well. I truly do."

She frowned staring up the few inches that separated them in height. "Then what is it that is so complicated in your eyes?"

"The law, Euphie," Suzaku explained. "Our different places in society. Does nothing of this even come close to bother you?"

Euphemia shook her head. "I have never had to worry about such things before," she said honestly and looked down but quickly looked back up at him. "But I don't care of such things now! Suzaku," she said in a stern tone. "Kiss me."

For a moment all Suzaku could do was stand there and look at her. He had just kissed her a few minutes back but having her say it aloud was different. "Excuse… me?"

"You heard me. As my boyfriend, kiss me!"

Suzaku knew she was dead serious and he wasn't going to say against her, _his_ princess, _his_ highness,_ his_ girlfriend Euphie. It thrilled him to be able to say that, call her his. She had said herself that he was her boyfriend. Those words had come from her words alone. She really did wish him to stay by her side forever, didn't she?

"As you wish," he said with a kind smile and their lips touched once more, their lips dancing with each other. Both of knight and princess ignored the rain that started falling around them. For them nothing else mattered but each other. For the moment they were alone in the universe, just the two of them in a world that forbid them from even being by each other's side.

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**AN_ Aw, its really sad that they can't be happy together. I really liked this pairing both in the manga and the anime. But that is why there is fanfiction, right? **

**The song that Euphie sings is Dear you - Kindness from Higurashi no naku koro ni. You can easily find it on Youtube, just search for Dear you - Kindness.**

**Please Review!**


	2. Where

**WARNING! SPOILERS!**

**This one shot is based on the original japanese ending of the show. It was cut from the last episode and so no one really knows if Lelouch died or not, many accepting the fact that, you know, he did and lets not dwell on that. The truth is, the original ending was less sad and harbored much less sadness for all the Lelouch fans. In the original ending, which you can find on youtube if you just search for it, Lelouch survived and was in fact the driver of the carriage that C.C traveled on. They just cut that to let the fans decide for themselves. **

**Disclaimer_ I don't own Code Geass or the song.**

**One-shot summary: Reflecting on the past C.C understands that her sad endings have given others happy ones and now, that someone has faced a sad end it has finally given her the happy one she thought she'd never have.**

**Pairing: Implied **

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Everywhere I go there is always sorrow. Ever since the beginning I've seen horror and death. No matter how happy the situation may look like in the beginning you can never predict a happy ending. For someone's happy ending is another's worst nightmare. It is a lesson beaten into my very being, into my very code.

In a way I don't believe in happy endings. What is a happy ending anyway? For you to get happy, to earn freedom, someone else has to pay a prize, maybe the ultimate prize above all else. It is an endless loop of sadness and happiness, never quite sated. The thirst never disappears and then you no longer know if you seek happiness or sorrow.

I lost who I was, for so many a decades that I've long since lost count. For years I forgot if I sought happiness or sorrow. What was death if explained in either of these two words? Was it happiness to finally reach freedom, to be rid of the curse called life or was it sadness to never see the faces of those you cared for and those who cared for you? For many years I thought I knew the answer and I was so sure of that answer. Now I'm not sure I was right, now that I've seen both the happy and the sad ending transform before me.

Is there even a happy and a sad ending? If someone's happiness is another's sadness, isn't everything then neutral?

Beyond the white clouds that sailed the skies was a blue sugar coated background and beyond that who knew? Sun beamed down from between the few clouds and warmed the Earth as if to congratulate it for its descending into a new era. It's never been in my nature to be much happy about anything or show my opinion on the things around me but I have to say that even I have to congratulate on this victory.

I close my eyes and image myself back to the past, before this past two weeks and before everything went downhill for what was my cause of staying alive. But I can't find myself sad over the memories. I've seen many people I care for die or leave me all too eventually die as well since that is the way of life. I learnt over the years to never get attached to another mortal being seeing as they would always leave my side, whet-ever voluntarily or not. However, I don't think I've ever met such a stubborn human being in my many decades as I did this one.

A small smile pulls at the corners of my lips and I give in. How can I be sad when someone's sorrow is my happiness; when someone's loss is my gain?

I've spent so many years in a lonely darkness, never quite staying in the same place too long, always leaving those around me behind when I leave to travel in loneliness. Who knew that in less than a couple of centuries I would no longer need to live in that dark void. I surely didn't and as surely didn't expect my life to take such a drastic turn.

But I wouldn't wish it to change.

"The power of kings, known as Geass, brings one solitude," I said and leaned my head to the side. Those words were true in any other situation I've been in, but not this one. Not the one I was stuck in now. I let out a muffled chuckle and my smile grew. "Not quite accurate. Right, Lelouch?"

There was another muffled chuckle but not from me and then shortly after, "Not very accurate as far as I've experienced it."

I looked over my shoulder and crawled over the large stack of hay and leaned over the edge with crossed arms. Around us were nothing but greenery and empty landscapes and the road we traveled on was purely gravel, quite old school.

"You haven't lived as long as I have," I said and he glanced up at me, the gleaming of a pair of red shimmering eyes peaking over the large straw-hat. Even through the bandana covering his mouth I could see the ever present smirk on his face.

"Hopefully I never will," he said. "Why would I wish to be such an old lady?"

Ever the smart comebacks, one would have thought that they would have disappeared with the massive blood loss he'd suffered. I smacked him up the head and he did nothing but chuckle yet again.

"Well, this old lady, is your only reason for even being alive, Lelouch," I said. "Now, where are we going?"

I can't say I believe in the theory of forever happy endings, but I have to believe in sad ones. For someone lost a brother, a friend whilst I gained a companion and a forever, dare I say, friend. How can one not believe in the loop of life when someone else's loss is now my gain? Now all I need is a light in the dark and I already have that, what else is there to need? Quite honestly, I don't care.

All you need is to know where you are going and who you are going there with to realize that your ending may not have been so sad after all.

I smiled. My ending seemed to be a forever curse of happiness. I can live with that.

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**AN_ This is short and not that developed. I wanted to try and see how well i did when writing from a persons point of view so this is what I got. I'm not sure about it and I really did try to capture C.C personality but I'm not quite sure. You tell me, did I do a good job? Should I write more stories in first person's point of view or is it a lost cause? Really, please I need the critique**

**The song that inspired this one shot was Dear you from Higuraski no naku koro ni. **

**Please Review!**


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